| 1. |  |
| "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.""If you run, you'll only g... more
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| 2. | |
| "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.""You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me loo... more
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| 3. | |
| 1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.2. Should you decide to run, I shall di... more
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| 4. | |
| Cop (to a little boy): Which of the men fighting on the street is your father?
Boy: i really don't know. That... more
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| 5. | |
| Cop was investigating the murder of a girl with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.
The detec... more
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| 6. | |
| Q: How does a cop go fishing?
A: He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.<... more
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| 7. | |
| Q: What did the policemen say to his belly button?
A: You're under a vest. ... more
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| 8. |  |
| Traffic Cop: Didn't you hear my whistle Madam?
Female Driver: Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm drivin... more
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| 9. | |
| A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, th... more
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| 10. | |
| A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she coul... more
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| 11. |  |
| A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.The three women... more
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| 12. | |
| A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D.... more
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| 13. | |
| A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding?... more
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| 14. | |
| A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'... more
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| 15. | |
| A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.After... more
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| 16. | |
| A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding.The officer asked, "Can you describe... more
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| 17. | |
| A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this:Q: Officer, did you s... more
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| 18. | |
| A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six... more
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| 19. | |
| A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it... more
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| 20. | |
| A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compens... more
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| 21. | |
| A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who wa... more
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| 22. | |
| A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that... more
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| 23. | |
| A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.When the... more
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| 24. | |
| A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't b... more
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| 25. | |
| A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just wont be... more
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| 26. | |
| A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: Yo... more
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| 27. | |
| A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.Upon findin... more
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| 28. | |
| A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate."I've got a great polic... more
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| 29. | |
| A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However,... more
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| 30. | |
| A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before."You'l... more
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