| 1. |  |
| "...clamp...sponge...scalpel...oops..."... more
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| 2. | |
| "give me the bad news first.""You've got AIDS.""Oh, no! What could be worse than that?""You've also got Alzheimer's Dis... more
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| 3. | |
| "How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg."Well, doc, 25 years ago..... more
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| 4. | |
| "I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled.... more
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| 5. | |
| "Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit.""Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked."For all pr... more
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| 6. | |
| A newborn baby was laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes.
A pediatrician unfold... more
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| 7. | |
| A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minoroperation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady ina white dress and b... more
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| 8. | |
| A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professional... more
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| 9. | |
| A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic ofthe lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the e... more
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| 10. | |
| A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and hewas advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to... more
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| 11. | |
| A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."The doctor examines him for a minute and then... more
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| 12. | |
| A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that on... more
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| 13. | |
| A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was ittrue, the woman wanted to know, that the medication thedoctor h... more
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| 14. | |
| A doctor fell into a well once.He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone.... more
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| 15. | |
| A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tr... more
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| 16. | |
| A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was... more
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| 17. | |
| A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a whil... more
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| 18. | |
| A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams."He... more
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| 19. | |
| A guy walks into his doctor and says,"Doc, you gotta help me, I can't remember anything!"The doc asks, "How long have yo... more
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| 20. | |
| A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly awasp buzzes into the wife's business end. Naturally enough,she p... more
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| 21. | |
| A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.Man: "What are you doing here today?"Woman: "Oh, I'm here... more
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| 22. | |
| A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have fivepenises!"The doctor says,"Good lord! How do your... more
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| 23. | |
| A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his offic... more
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| 24. | |
| A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatristsuggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds u... more
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| 25. | |
| A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast.One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said,... more
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| 26. | |
| A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist ifthere is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comesba... more
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| 27. | |
| A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem.After a thorough examination, the doctor consults w... more
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| 28. |  |
| A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor replies, "Are you ga... more
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| 29. | |
| A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.Doctor: How did this happen?Frog: It started with a bum... more
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| 30. | |
| A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ea... more
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