| 1. |  |
| "And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession. "I might as well confess t... more
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| 2. |  |
| "And how's yer wife, Pat?" "Sure, she do be awful sick." "Is ut dangerous she is?" "No, she's too weak t' be dangerous a... more
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| 3. | |
| "Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!" "Bartender! G... more
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| 4. | |
| "Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?" "No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !"... more
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| 5. | |
| "Hey," said a new arrival in the pub, "I've got some great Irish jokes.""Before you start," said the big bloke in the co... more
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| 6. | |
| "Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grud... more
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| 7. | |
| "Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. "It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for yo... more
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| 8. | |
| (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight... more
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| 9. | |
| A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed ad... more
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| 10. | |
| A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the ma... more
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| 11. | |
| A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lad... more
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| 12. | |
| A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profes... more
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| 13. | |
| A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up : "You're making' out we're all dumb a... more
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| 14. | |
| An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up... more
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| 15. | |
| An American and an Irishman were enjoying a ride in the country when they came upon an unusual sight - an old gallows. T... more
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| 16. | |
| An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the troubl... more
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| 17. | |
| An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the... more
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| 18. | |
| An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their be... more
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| 19. | |
| An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hop... more
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| 20. | |
| An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls" received a humble lecture from their priest regardi... more
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| 21. | |
| An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the... more
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| 22. | |
| Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid h... more
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| 23. | |
| Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"... more
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| 24. | |
| Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he said. "I've blown up three hundred miles... more
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| 25. | |
| Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say... more
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| 26. | |
| Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't get along. One day she said to him, "If it wasn't for my money, that new tel... more
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| 27. | |
| Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or tw... more
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| 28. | |
| Father Murphy met Casey in the street and Casey admired his new umbrella. Father Murphy said, "Thank you, but I'm not su... more
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| 29. | |
| Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man sa... more
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| 30. | |
| For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a gu... more
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