| 1. |  |
| "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY" So what ? Who's in a hurry ? ... more
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| 2. |  |
| "Old Jethro's next door's a-makin' moonshine again." the wife told her husband. "How can you tell ?" he asked. "Did yo... more
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| 3. | |
| "Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, I'd have to sa... more
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| 4. | |
| One night a cop pulls over a drunk driver.
She asks him to step out of his car and says, "Anything y... more
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| 5. | |
| A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pu... more
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| 6. | |
| A customer was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be mov... more
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| 7. | |
| A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. "Didn't... more
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| 8. |  |
| A drunk goes into a bar sits down and says hey hey bartender can we talk about politics. The bartender says IF THERE... more
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| 9. | |
| A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. "Get me... more
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| 10. | |
| A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is... more
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| 11. | |
| A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.The b... more
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| 12. | |
| A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. Wha... more
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| 13. |  |
| A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested,then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:"Ok.I'll let him pas... more
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| 14. | |
| A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the... more
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| 15. | |
| A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says,"Say, your head feels just like my wife's ass." The bald man fee... more
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| 16. | |
| A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The... more
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| 17. | |
| A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive wo... more
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| 18. | |
| A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks... more
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| 19. | |
| A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk ro... more
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| 20. | |
| After a long pub crawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red or green. Since they can't come to a conclusion the... more
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| 21. | |
| At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answ... more
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| 22. | |
| Buford: Man, have you got a drinking problem! Mongo: The hell I do! Buford: The hell you don't! Mongo: I... more
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| 23. | |
| Drunk walks into elevator, no elevator there, falls five stories down, lands on the bottom. Lies there a few seconds, sl... more
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| 24. | |
| I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle do... more
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| 25. | |
| If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness... more
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| 26. | |
| Little old Mr.Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbequeing a chicken on a manual rotisserie. A drunk comes walking along... more
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| 27. | |
| McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline emplo... more
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| 28. | |
| Q: What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? A: A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings. ... more
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| 29. | |
| Sign of drinking problem...You shout, "I'm not as think you drunk I am."... more
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| 30. | |
| The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test.One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making sever... more
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