| 1. |  |
| Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a st... more
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| 2. |  |
| "Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree.... more
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| 3. | |
| "Can you help me? asked Alice."No," said Negative. "I'm looking for a white consultant." Alice pointed in the direction... more
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| 4. | |
| 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse. The comp... more
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| 5. | |
| 1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS... more
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| 6. | |
| 1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. 2. La... more
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| 7. | |
| 1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.2. Lau... more
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| 8. | |
| 1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of t... more
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| 9. | |
| 1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft ex... more
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| 10. | |
| 10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on yo... more
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| 11. | |
| 10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8.... more
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| 12. | |
| 10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last time you tuned in to "... more
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| 13. | |
| 10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.9. It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.8. In... more
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| 14. | |
| 10. New seats would require everyone to have the same body size.9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.8. The U.S.... more
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| 15. | |
| 10. The monitor is up on blocks.9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7.... more
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| 16. | |
| 10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes... more
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| 17. | |
| 100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bi... more
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| 18. | |
| 11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft10. Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages in start-up screen. 9... more
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| 19. | |
| 486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete: Any computer yo... more
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| 20. | |
| 99 little bugs in the code,99 bugs in the code,Fix one bug, compile it again,101 little bugs in the code.101 little bugs... more
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| 21. | |
| A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electricalmalfunction disabled all of aircraft's electron... more
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| 22. | |
| A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center andregistered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyedwa... more
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| 23. | |
| A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lu... more
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| 24. | |
| A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful pr... more
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| 25. | |
| A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it af... more
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| 26. | |
| A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out tha... more
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| 27. | |
| ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer... more
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| 28. | |
| Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.Isaac is incredulous. 'Pop,' he says, 'you can't run Windows 95 on yourold... more
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| 29. | |
| Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" Customer:... more
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| 30. | |
| ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic CodersBASIC: Badly... more
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