| 1. |  |
| "Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.I told my computer that today is my birthday,and it said that I needed an... more
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| 2. | |
| "Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"... more
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| 3. |  |
| "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."... more
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| 4. | |
| "I guess I didnt get my birthday wish." "How do you know?" "Youre still here!"... more
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| 5. |  |
| "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday."... more
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| 6. | |
| "Im giving a surprised birthday party for you." "A surprised. birthday party? Whats that?" "Thats where I invite a bunch... more
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| 7. | |
| "My birthdays coming"Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"... more
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| 8. |  |
| "This birthday cake certainly is crunchy." "Maybe you should spit out the plate!"... more
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| 9. | |
| "Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."... more
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| 10. | |
| A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.... more
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| 11. | |
| A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. Whats the matter? she asked. Its... more
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| 12. | |
| A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "Id love to be ten again."On the morning of... more
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| 13. | |
| A man who forgets his wifes birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.... more
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| 14. |  |
| A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After b... more
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| 15. | |
| BoyFriend: Why didnt you give me anything for my birthday?GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.... more
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| 16. | |
| Cat: "What did you get him for his birthday?" Dog: "Pant . . . pant!" Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"... more
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| 17. |  |
| Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldnt figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he coul... more
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| 18. | |
| Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely!Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the was... more
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| 19. | |
| Did you hear about the dancers birthday? It was a tappy one!... more
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| 20. | |
| Did you hear about the flags birthday? It was a Happy one!... more
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| 21. | |
| Did you hear about the time Eddys sister tried to make a birthday cake ?The candles melted in the oven.... more
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| 22. | |
| Did you hear about the trees birthday? It was a sappy one!... more
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| 23. | |
| First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, Im having a witch do. First boy: Whats a witch do?... more
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| 24. | |
| For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!... more
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| 25. | |
| Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. Its a great present but I just cant find t... more
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| 26. | |
| Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me s... more
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| 27. | |
| Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didnt you? Fred:... more
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| 28. | |
| Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didnt you? Fred:... more
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| 29. | |
| Good news! Ive been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I dont get the bowl until my next birthday... more
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| 30. | |
| Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasnt 99 Id be dead.... more
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