| 1. |  |
| A guy call up the hospital and says, "Send help! My wife is going into labour!"
The nurse says, "Calm down. I... more
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| 2. | |
| A woman is about to deliver a baby.
Husband: If the kid looks like you, it'll be great.
Wife: If the... more
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| 3. | |
| Little Johnny was lost, so went up to a cop and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?" ... more
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| 4. |  |
| A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all p... more
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| 5. | |
| A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin... more
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| 6. | |
| A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family... more
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| 7. | |
| A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Mum had only... more
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| 8. |  |
| Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping... more
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| 9. | |
| Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But thats the tenth one Ive given you tonight! Yes, but the bab... more
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| 10. | |
| Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin ta night schoo... more
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| 11. |  |
| Did you hear about Mrs Dimwits new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because i... more
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| 12. | |
| Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didnt push the pram - she pulled it.... more
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| 13. | |
| Do you like your new baby sister? Shes all right. Do you play with her? No, and we cant even send her back because shes... more
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| 14. | |
| Doctor, doctor, my babys swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.... more
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| 15. | |
| Fred: My mums having a new baby. Drew: Whats wrong with the old one?... more
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| 16. | |
| How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.... more
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| 17. | |
| How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didnt take it far enough into the woods.... more
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| 18. | |
| How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et.... more
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| 19. | |
| How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.... more
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| 20. | |
| How does a baby ghost cry?"Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"... more
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| 21. | |
| I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didnt say whether its a boy or girl. So I dont know if Im an... more
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| 22. | |
| I see the babys nose is running again," said a worried father. "For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Cant you think of... more
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| 23. | |
| It cant go on! It cant go on! What cant go on? This babys vest ? its too small for me.... more
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| 24. | |
| Knock knock. Whos there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.... more
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| 25. | |
| Knock knock. Whos there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?... more
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| 26. | |
| Knock KnockWhos there !Baby !Baby who ?Baby love, my baby love.... !... more
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| 27. | |
| Little Johnny s next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived... more
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| 28. | |
| Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?Daughter: You told me to change the baby.... more
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| 29. | |
| Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "... more
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| 30. | |
| Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I dont think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their b... more
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