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All our jokes listing within the Baby jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.      3 stars

A guy call up the hospital and says, "Send help! My wife is going into labour!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. I... more

2.      3 stars

A woman is about to deliver a baby.

Husband: If the kid looks like you, it'll be great.

Wife: If the... more

3.      3 stars

Little Johnny was lost, so went up to a cop and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The cop said, "What's he like?"

... more

4.      4 stars
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all p... more

5.      4 stars
A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin... more

6.      4 stars
A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family... more

7.      3 stars
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Mum had only... more

8.      0 stars
Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping... more

9.      3 stars
Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But thats the tenth one Ive given you tonight! Yes, but the bab... more

10.      0 stars
Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin ta night schoo... more

11.      5 stars
Did you hear about Mrs Dimwits new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because i... more

12.      0 stars
Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didnt push the pram - she pulled it.... more

13.      0 stars
Do you like your new baby sister? Shes all right. Do you play with her? No, and we cant even send her back because shes... more

14.      0 stars
Doctor, doctor, my babys swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.... more

15.      4 stars
Fred: My mums having a new baby. Drew: Whats wrong with the old one?... more

16.      0 stars
How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.... more

17.      0 stars
How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didnt take it far enough into the woods.... more

18.      0 stars
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et.... more

19.      5 stars
How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.... more

20.      0 stars
How does a baby ghost cry?"Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"... more

21.      0 stars
I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didnt say whether its a boy or girl. So I dont know if Im an... more

22.      3 stars
I see the babys nose is running again," said a worried father. "For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Cant you think of... more

23.      0 stars
It cant go on! It cant go on! What cant go on? This babys vest ? its too small for me.... more

24.      5 stars
Knock knock. Whos there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.... more

25.      0 stars
Knock knock. Whos there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?... more

26.      0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Baby !Baby who ?Baby love, my baby love.... !... more

27.      0 stars
Little Johnny s next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived... more

28.      0 stars
Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?Daughter: You told me to change the baby.... more

29.      0 stars
Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "... more

30.      0 stars
Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I dont think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their b... more







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