A Laugh A Day Keeps The Doctor Away!
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All our jokes listing within the Apple jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

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A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked th... more

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After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a workers boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angril... more

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Dad, do you like baked apples?

Yes son, why?

The orchards on fire.

... more

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First apple: You look down in the dumps. Whats eating you?

Second apple: Worms, I think.

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Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

"Thats wha... more

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If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?

None, becaus... more

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Once upon a time there were five apples. Which was the cowboy?

None - because they were all redskins.

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Q: How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

A: Take a snorkel.

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Q: How do you make an apple puff?

A: Chase it round the garden.

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Q: How do you make an apple turnover?

A: Push it down hill.

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Q: How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

A: When you take careful aim.

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Q: If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?

A: Keeps everyone away.

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Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple cant do?

A: It can look round.

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Q: What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?

A: Worm your way out of that one, then!

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Q: What did the apple say to the apple pie?

A: "Youve got some crust."

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Q: What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

A: He brought it to school and said, An Ape-lle... more

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Q: What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

A: He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

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Q: What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

A: Puff pastry !

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Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A: A crab apple !

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Q: What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?

A: An outboard apple.

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Q: What is the left side of an apple?

A: The part that you dont eat.

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Q: What kind of apple has a short temper?

A: A crab apple.

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Q: What kind of apple isnt an apple?

A: A pineapple.

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Q: What lives in apples and is an avid reader?

A: A bookworm !

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Q: What reads and lives in an apple ?

A: A bookworm !

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Q: Whats the difference between a worm and an apple ?

A: Have you ever tried worm pie ?!

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Q: Why did Eve want to move to New York ?

A: She fell for the Big Apple !

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Q: Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

A: Someone told him he should get an apple Mac.

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Q: Why didnt the two worms go into Noahs ark in an apple?

A: Because everyone had to go in pairs !

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Q: Why dont apples smile when you go bobbing ?

A: Because theyre crab apples !

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